Going from one to two children is definitely a shake up. As this beautiful mama is about to find out.
I think your experience of it depends a lot on the age gap and the temperament of your eldest child. Often I wonder whether it’s not necessarily the quantity of children but the dynamics between their individual development stage.
For the record I have 3 children, the first we had a planned 4 year age gap. The second age gap was a beautiful surprise at falling pregnant when my middle child was 11 months old. I’d had no periods and was still breast feeding 3 times in 24hrs… just goes to show it does happen. (I was a doctors statistic i’m sure!)
Anyhow, the first age gap was a dream for us. Our eldest had just started school and was (and still very much is) an incredibly helpful and loving older sibling. He fetched things, didn’t grumble much when we couldn’t do certain activities and was generally bloody awesome.
Whilst I listened to other mamas tell me tales of wo’ regarding squabbles and over squeezing, jealously and general despair at the older siblings behaviour, we had lucked out. It won’t be surprising for you to hear, that because of this we ‘planned’ for our third child to also have another 4 year age gap.
Needless to say this didn’t happen.
Our youngest came along with loud bang and if you have read a few of my historical posts you’ll understand I have huge huge mum guilt over my middle child’s second year. He simply didn’t have the time and attention that our older sibling received, I felt like having a baby sister personally hindered him and that I had hindered him. As she has grown up (currently 3 years old) she dominates him, physically and during play.
I have since made peace with my mum guilt and instead chose to concentrate on the positive attributes he is developing from being a middle child. He is a sensitive sole, incredibly empathetic and the most rebellious, all attributes that we can nurture and channel.
I often day dream what my children’s personalities would be like if they were all born in a different order? it fascinates me. I have come to the temporary conclusion they would indeed be slightly different and that their placing in the family tree has shaped their little minds to some extent.
Any thoughts? How were your family ‘leaps’. Let me know on my Instagram post here.
And obviously…. enjoy the gorgeous gallery 😉
27 August 2019